When Standing Still Costs Too Much
Misty mornings are like tears of sorrow
Constantly falling
Thoughts of yesterday gone
What will come of tomorrow
A sprinkle of sunshine on a smiling face
Can brighten a sorrow-filled eye
But a grin in a storm
Is only a lie
I wrote those words in 1985, in a poem I called Tormented. Back then, I was writing about the quiet agony of being trapped — watching life move while I stood still, trying to look okay.
Maybe for you it’s not abuse. Maybe it’s a job you can’t leave, a relationship that’s draining you, or a season of grief that feels endless. If you’ve ever smiled when you didn’t feel like it, you know what I’m talking about.
When you feel trapped — whether by circumstances, fear, grief, or uncertainty — forward motion feels like a luxury you can’t afford. Days blur into each other like fog, and even when light slips through, you doubt it.
Is this real? Or just a break in the storm?
A Different Kind of Moment
Years later, (29 to be exact-according to a Facebook memory), I pulled into my driveway, I did not immediately get out. My hands rested on the steering wheel, the soft glow of the dashboard wrapping the car in amber light. Outside, the darkness mirrored where I had been. You know what its like when the radio is blasting a favorite song.
My mind started flipping through memories at warp speed, faces I’d met, challenges I’d fought through, lessons etched deep. Then, through the static of my thoughts, Van Morrison’s voice floated in: “Let your soul and spirit fly.” I froze, realizing… I already had.
Like a deck of cards flashing past — ace of spades, three of diamonds, queen of hearts — each moment carried its own story. The smile that spread across my face wasn’t to hide anything; it was gratitude. Every storm, every valley, every steep climb had shaped me.
The Turning Point
When I wrote Tormented in 1985, I was living in abuse, pretending everything was fine or risking being beaten. One day, I made the decision: “I’m getting out — dead or alive.”
The person who wrote that poem and the person in the driveway were the same, but not the same. One was standing in the mist, unsure how to move. The other had walked through it, found her footing, and could finally see the horizon.
That reframe changed my life, and continues to, again and again. Forward momentum doesn’t start with a perfect plan. It starts with one decision — even a desperate one — that says, I’m not staying here.
We may not control how long the mist lingers, but we can choose to take the first step toward clearer skies. And one day, often when we least expect it, we’ll look back — not with bitterness for the storm, but with gratitude for the strength we found walking through it.
Standing still isn’t forever. The storm may be real, but so is the possibility of movement. Sometimes the smallest step — even one you can barely see — begins to shift everything.
How to Tip the Scales: From Feeling Trapped to Taking Charge
1. Acknowledge Where You Are — No Judgment
Feeling stuck, scared, or overwhelmed is part of the process. Give yourself permission to be exactly where you are. That honesty is where real change begins.
2. Pick One Small, Real Step
Don’t wait for clarity — choose one action today. Send the text. Set the boundary. Write it down.
3. See Fear as a Signal, Not a Stop Sign
Fear often means you’re nearing growth. Breathe through it, and move anyway. That’s courage.
4. Celebrate Every Tiny Win
Small victories are proof you’re moving forward. Name them. Keep them.
5. Find Your Tribe
Surround yourself with people who see you without judgment and hold space for your growth.
6. Practice Radical Self-Compassion
Speak to yourself like you would a friend. Replace “I failed” with “I’m learning.”
7. Visualize the Future You’re Creating
Picture the person you want to be. Let that vision pull you forward through the fog.
The journey from feeling stuck to stepping into your power isn’t a giant leap — it’s a series of small, brave choices. Standing still costs too much. Your next step — however small — could change everything.
Operation Reframe™ Tip:
Skip the pressure to “just smile through it.” Instead, choose one honest action today that moves you closer to the life you want. Authentic momentum starts small, but it’s what transforms mist into clarity.
You don’t have to figure this out on your own. I’ve been where you are, and I know the way forward. Let’s start your reframe today.
