Kindness As a Mode of Operation
In 1982, writer Anne Herbert coined the phrase, “practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.” By 1993, a book titled Random Acts of Kindness was published, sharing stories of people performing spontaneous gestures of goodwill. Just two years later, the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation was established to help spread this message throughout communities.
Since then, RAK (Random Acts of Kindness), has become a cultural touchpoint, inspiring everything from classroom activities to social media challenges.
But here’s the question I keep coming back to:
”Why does kindness have to be random?”
This thought often lingers as I watch people move through life on autopilot—heads down, schedules packed, opportunities for connection slipping by in the rush.
Recently, I arrived at the emergency room one evening to meet up with family. My sister-in-law was already there, sitting in the lobby wrapped in two hospital-issued blankets, trying to guard against the blast of frigid air pouring from the ceiling vents. The AC set to ‘Arctic,’ I am surprised the security guard window was not frosted over. The space was crowded, ambulances pulling into the bays outside, patients and families filling every seat. We were there to support someone very dear to us.
As I sat down beside her, a woman walked in. She looked dazed, possibly injured, her nose swollen and bleeding. Dressed in shorts and a tank top, her small frame seemed even more vulnerable in the cold.
Without hesitation, my sister-in-law stood up, walked over to the woman, and gently wrapped one of her blankets around her shoulders.
That was not a random act of kindness.
That is simply who she is. Someone who genuinely cares.
Hustle is Counterproductive
In the mid-1970s, The Hustle was more than just a mindset, it was a dance. (And yes, I’m aging myself by telling you my friends and I spent hours practicing it.) The disco track by Van McCoy had just one lyric on repeat: “Do the Hustle.”
Fast forward to today, and that phrase has taken on a whole new meaning.
We live in a culture that glorifies “the hustle,” packed schedules, unrealistic deadlines, and a constant race from one obligation to the next. But all this hustling comes at a cost: we stop noticing.
We become blind to what’s happening around us. The subtle emotional cues. The opportunities to show up for someone. The quiet moments that invite compassion. The moments we’re meant to thrive in.
Let me explain.
Kindness does something incredible to our brains and our bodies; it promotes well-being in ways that aren’t just feel-good fluff. This isn’t mumbo-jumbo; it’s backed by science.
Benefits of Kindness on the Immune System
1. Lowers Inflammation
Acts of kindness reduce stress, which helps lower cortisol, the body’s primary stress hormone. Chronic stress fuels inflammation, a root contributor to issues like heart disease, digestive problems, and autoimmune disorders (personal experience.) Kindness helps keep inflammation in check.
2. Boosts Natural Killer Cells
These are the immune system’s frontline defenders, especially against viruses and even cancer. Studies show that people who regularly practice kindness show increased activity in these critical cells.
3. Increases Antibody Production
Kindness can elevate levels of Immunoglobulin A (IgA), an antibody that strengthens our immune defense, particularly in the respiratory tract, our first line of defense against colds and the flu.
Benefits of Kindness on the Nervous System
1. Activates Feel-Good Neurotransmitters
Kindness triggers the release of dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins, natural chemicals that boost mood, relieve pain, and improve mental clarity.
2. Calms the Nervous System
It activates the parasympathetic nervous system, our “rest and digest” mode, slowing the heart rate, lowering blood pressure, and helping us feel grounded and safe.
3. Enhances Neuroplasticity
Kindness actually rewires the brain. Repeated acts of compassion build stronger neural pathways for empathy, emotional regulation, and resilience. The more we practice kindness, the more natural it becomes.
It’s Contagious
Kindness doesn’t just change you; it changes everyone around you. When we witness or receive acts of kindness, our own nervous systems benefit. It creates a ripple effect of calm, trust, and connection. It’s biology and humanity, working hand in hand.
Have you ever witnessed someone helping another? How did it make you feel?
I recently watched my sister-in-law offer her own blanket to a woman she’d never met, sitting injured and shivering in an ER lobby. She didn’t hesitate. She didn’t ask. She just helped.
In that moment, my body felt light. My heart opened. I felt compassion and love wash through me. That’s the power of kindness and it reaches further than we think.
Kindness as a Way of Being
I’ve lived the downside of hustle culture.
For years, I wore busy like a badge of honor—overbooked, overrun, burning the candle at both ends. I pushed through exhaustion to meet deadlines, keep commitments, and take care of everyone else first. And for a while, I kept up.
Until my body said, enough.
The stress caught up with me in the form of an autoimmune disorder that now affects my thyroid. My immune system—the very thing meant to protect me—turned on itself. That was my wake-up call. Yet, I continued to push myself. Now, I make time for what is really important. I am growing by slowing down, becoming more observant, becoming more present.
I’ve learned, sometimes the hard way, that slowing down isn’t weak—it’s wise.
Making time to pause, breathe, and observe the world around me isn’t a luxury. It’s survival. It’s healing.
And here’s what I know now: kindness starts with awareness. When you’re racing, you miss the moments. But when you slow down, even briefly, you start to see them again.
The stranger in need of warmth.
The coworker struggling behind a smile.
The quiet voice inside yourself asking for rest.
Make time for these small moments. Meditate. Breathe. Pay attention. Let selfless acts of kindness become not just something you do—but a mode of operation. A rhythm. A habit.
Because kindness isn’t random.
It’s a way of life.
And it might just be the medicine we’ve been looking for.
Reflection Question
Where in your life can you slow down just enough to notice, so that kindness becomes a choice, not an afterthought?
This week, challenge yourself to practice one intentional act of kindness each day. Nothing elaborate, just sincere. A warm check-in. An encouraging word. A moment of stillness to be present with someone (or yourself).
These micro-moments make a macro impact.
Operation Reframe™ Tip:
Reframe hustle as hyperarousal—not productivity.
Pause long enough to notice the people, emotions, and needs around you. Kindness isn't one more task, it’s a way of moving through the world that heals as it goes.
