Flip the Switch: Turn Eye Rolls into “Tell Me More”
Learning something new every day does more than add information to your mind. It shifts the way you see yourself and the world around you. When you stretch into fresh skills or ideas, you create a little pocket of possibility that was not there yesterday. Over time, those small stretches stack up and reshape your confidence, your problem-solving, and even the way you approach uncertainty. Curiosity becomes a habit. Growth becomes a mindset. And that simple daily choice to learn becomes the fuel that pushes you toward your next level.
When I was a kid, school felt like a daily sentence. I wanted to be anywhere other than a desk listening to a teacher drone on like the Charlie Brown soundtrack.
“Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah.”
At that age, learning felt like something done to me instead of something done for me. Somewhere after tossing that graduation cap in the air, something shifted. I stopped viewing learning as an obligation and started seeing it as a choice.
Today, I go out of my way to learn. I chase new skills, new ideas, and new tools because I want to, not because someone told me I had to. I stopped hiding inside Stephen King novels and ditched the escape hatch for nonfiction that helps me take over the world I’m standing in. Turns out the plot twist I needed wasn’t a haunted hotel, a killer clown, or a telekinetic meltdown. It was me choosing to stop running from life and start mastering it.
There is a powerful psychological concept behind that shift. Self Determination Theory (developed by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan in the 1980’s,) teaches that humans thrive when three basic needs are met:
Autonomy
Competence
Relatedness
Admit it, if Self Determination Theory didn’t make you want to Google and look it up, your curiosity switch is on snooze.
When we feel forced, judged, or disconnected, motivation drops. When we feel choice, growth, and connection, motivation rises. Looking back, my resistance as a kid makes perfect sense. School removed autonomy. It measured competence through pressure instead of curiosity. And most teachers did not have time to build connection. Learning became something to endure, not something to explore.
I hear kids today shout the same thing I once did. “I hate school.” And I find myself wondering if the problem is not the child but the language we model as adults. Parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches, leaders of every kind. How many times have we said, “Get up, you have to go to school.” That single sentence strips away autonomy. It tells a child they have no say, no power, and no ownership. The brain does not thrive under that message.
But what if we shifted the language. What if school were framed as an opportunity instead of a mandate? A place to discover something new, build a skill, or find one thing that sparks curiosity. Instead of “You have to go,” imagine saying, “You get to learn something today that helps you build your future.” Small adjustment. Major psychological impact. Autonomy returns. Curiosity has room to breathe. Learning becomes an invitation instead of a burden.
The same principle applies to employees and work teams. Adults are not far removed from the kid who once sat in a classroom thinking, “I hate this.” When leaders push new concepts, policies, or processes without context or choice, they trigger that same inner rebellion. Every person has an autonomy switch, and when it gets flipped off, motivation falls fast. Productivity stalls. Innovation shuts down. Adoption of new ideas slows to a crawl.
In the workplace, forced change hits the same way a mandatory school day once did. When an employee hears, “Here is the new policy. Do it because I said so,” their mind reacts with quiet resistance. Sometimes it shows up as delayed follow-through or half-hearted effort. Sometimes it shows up as open pushback. Either way, it is the adult version of a teenager slamming a door.
Leaders often misread this as incompetence or poor attitude. In reality, it is a motivation issue tied to autonomy and relevance. People need to understand the “why” behind a change and how it connects to their work, their growth, or the success of the team. When they feel like part of the conversation instead of the target of the announcement, their engagement shifts quickly.
Give adults what school took from so many of us.
Invite participation.
Explain intent.
Ask for input.
Show how their strengths connect to the change. When you do that, you turn resistance into ownership. You get buy-in instead of burnout. And just like a child who walks into school with a little spark of curiosity, your team begins to lean in instead of checking out.
Somewhere along the way, that is what changed for me. The choice came back. And once learning became something I claimed instead of something assigned, the entire world opened up.
I choose to learn something new every day. It does not always look dramatic. Sometimes it is as simple as discovering a new Excel formula that turns a messy data set into something clear and usable. Sometimes it is a small insight I pick up in a conversation or a new way to approach a challenge at work. Each piece adds to the larger picture. Each small skill builds confidence, clarity, and momentum.
Learning does not have to be big or flashy.
It only has to be intentional.
And when you choose it daily, even in small doses, it changes the way you move through the world.
If you want to shift your mindset, start with one small choice today. Pick one thing to learn. It can be practical, technical, creative, or personal. The size does not matter. The commitment does. Give yourself the gift of curiosity and watch how quickly possibility expands. And if you lead others, whether at home or at work, invite them into the same practice by modeling curiosity, offering choice, and framing learning as an opportunity rather than an obligation.
Resistance shows up everywhere, kids, employees, even ourselves. That sigh, that groan, that tiny eye roll. What if the solution isn’t pushing harder but flipping a simple switch? Frame learning or change as a choice instead of a mandate. Invite participation, show relevance, and model curiosity. Suddenly, “I have to” becomes “Tell me more.” Small shift, big impact.
And if you want support building that kind of environment, that’s where I come in. I help leaders and teams reframe resistance so communication feels lighter, learning sticks, and change doesn’t feel like a fight.
