The Real Reason Decisions Feel Impossible (Hint: You’re Part of the Problem)
What makes decisions so hard? You do!
It’s that simple, yet choices can feel complex and heavy.
I almost titled this blog – “Your Decisions Suck” – I decided that was a little rough, however, that is exactly how most of us feel when we are sitting with regret or buyer’s remorse.
When you’re faced with a decision, like most people, you start overanalyzing. Mental gymnastics kick in—the fear of regret creeps up before the decision is even made, pushing you into left-brained, analytical mode. What could have been straightforward turns into sleepless nights… sometimes even cold sweats at midnight, sending you to the kitchen for a snack you don’t need. (No analyzing that decision—eat the cake!)
I remember sitting with three résumés in front of me, agonizing over who to hire. I replayed every interview answer in my head like a bad reality TV recap. At one point, I caught myself staring into my coffee cup like I was trying to read tea leaves, hoping it would spell out the name of the perfect candidate. (Spoiler: it didn’t.)
That’s the trap—our brains convince us there’s a single right answer. The truth? Most of the time, there are multiple good ones. And sometimes the “wrong” choice teaches you more than the “right” one ever could.
“But knowing what we want means, in essence, being able to anticipate
accurately how one choice or another will make us feel, and that is no simple task.”
― Barry Schwartz, The Paradox of Choice
Here’s the twist: understanding why our brains flip to overanalyzing opens the door to making decisions differently.
Why Decisions Feel So Hard (The Science Behind It)
When faced with big choices, your brain’s protective wiring kicks in—fight-or-flight mode activates, and intuition gets drowned out. Too many options overload your system, leading to the “Paradox of Choice”: more choices mean more anxiety and less satisfaction.
As Daniel Kahneman explains, “losses feel about twice as impactful as gains.” The result? Overthinking, second-guessing, and feeling stuck.
Ultimately, your brain treats uncertainty as a threat, shutting down creative intuition and prioritizing safety, over growth. Making a decision is like planting a seed: without action, nothing can grow—including you.
The Unlock: Curiosity + Creativity
Curiosity and creativity are your secret weapons.
Instead of asking, “What if I make the wrong choice?” try, “What else is possible here?” That small reframe cracks open space for new options.
Quick Tool: Next time you’re stuck in decision quicksand (cue old Tarzan reruns swinging through your mind), pause and ask:
What else could I try?
What haven’t I considered yet?
What’s the smallest step forward I could take?
Curiosity expands the menu. Creativity helps you cook up options you didn’t even see before.
The Edge: Resilience
Even with curiosity and creativity, no decision guarantees the “perfect” outcome. And that’s okay—because resilience is what turns any outcome into a gift.
Resilience isn’t about dodging disappointment—it’s about transforming it. When a choice doesn’t go as planned, it isn’t proof you failed; it’s proof you dared. Regret keeps us standing still, and the cost is steep—mostly in time, the one resource we can never reclaim.
Think back: maybe a door closed, but another opened quietly—a new skill, a lesson, or clarity about what doesn’t align with your path. That’s resilience: uncovering value in every outcome and moving ahead with purpose.
When I lost something, I loved, I refused to sulk in the shadows. Instead, I queued up the Seinfeld episode where George gets fired, laughed at life’s twists, and got moving again. That’s resilience in action.
Quick Tool: After any decision or setback, ask: “What gift did this give me?” Growth, clarity, connection—or simply the courage to choose again.
Closing Reflection
Decisions don’t have to feel like a battlefield—with sleepless nights, endless validation-seeking, or hours spent hovering indecisively. Stop playing chess in your head. Make a decision—whether the outcome is right or wrong—embrace it, and keep moving.
Just as we regret impulse purchases, we can get stuck second-guessing bigger choices. But every detour—every wrong turn—can be worthwhile. I remember the day I packed my car and drove 1,800 miles with no plan. I never looked back. The journey wasn’t always smooth, yet the people I met made every misstep meaningful.
You don’t need flawless decisions, you need bold ones. Each choice—planned or spontaneous—carries a hidden gift if you’re willing to seek it.
So, what’s one decision you’ve been circling for too long? How could curiosity, creativity, and resilience help you finally make it, own it, and discover what’s waiting inside?
This week, pick one decision you’ve been avoiding. Step forward with curiosity, creativity, and resilience—then notice what you learn. Be like Nike—Just Do It.
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