Resilience Runs in My Veins: Lessons from Life’s Merry-Go-Round
Grandmother Lenore Anna (Miller) Wilson, daughter of Elnora Charlotte (Westling) Miller
I come from a lineage of strong, resilient women on both sides of my family that stretches back generations. My paternal great-grandmother, Elnora, became a widow in 1929 at just 33 years old, left to raise three children all under the age of ten. After her husband's passing, she put herself through secretarial school — a bold step, given that clerical work was one of the fastest-growing fields for women in the 1920s. She secured employment and eventually rose to the position of deputy county superintendent. A Manhattan, Kansas newspaper article from January 28, 1936, noted that the superintendent's office would be closed so Elnora could attend her mother's funeral — a testament to the respect she earned through her perseverance and strength.
Lenore, Elnora’s eldest child and my grandmother, carried that same determination. After retiring from decades in insurance, she returned to work in her seventies, learned computer skills, and shared her hard-earned knowledge with others. Through old newspaper clippings, I discovered she was Vice President of the Commercial Club in high school and hosted parties for the girls of Class 15 at her church. One article specifically stated, “The girls met at the home of Lenore Miller for a covered dish supper and exchanged Valentines.” Small-town newspapers are windows into ordinary lives that hold extraordinary lessons.
Most recently, I was gifted with a two-page document my stepmother found in my grandmother Lenore’s papers. I immediately became excited when I read the title: “How Attitudes Tell the Story in Life’s Merry-Go-Round.” As I held this document, I was mesmerized — not just by the words, but by the fact that it had been hand-typed on a manual typewriter and appeared to be a carbon copy. The watermark read “Gilbert Onion Skin”, and after a little research, I determined that it was likely typed in the late 1930s to early ’40s. My grandmother most likely did not type this document herself, but the care with which she preserved it made clear how important it was to her.
The document is profound, speaking directly to mindset and the art of inner work. It begins with:
“You have heard these lovely ladies tell you how to spread glamor on the outside – by cosmetics, costumes, and inflection. Now, may I suggest a few tips on how to make your outside or appearance more glamorous by a little care and culture of the inside.”
As I read those words, I couldn’t help but smile. Long before neuroscience, emotional intelligence, or positive psychology entered our vocabulary, someone was teaching the essence of mindset work — typed neatly on onion skin paper decades ago.
“To begin with your attitude is your way of thinking, acting or feeling. Learn to be able to choose important things in life to do or say. The things you ‘cannot do anything about’ forget them quickly and ‘for keeps.’”
I often advocate this same principle with clients: focusing on what you can control is the cornerstone of resilience. Our energy is finite, and when we spend it on things outside our influence, we deplete the very resources needed to navigate life’s spins and turns. By consciously choosing where to place our focus, we not only preserve energy but also cultivate a mindset that strengthens adaptability, confidence, and long-term growth.
“You can be almost anything you want to be – at least you can come near that goal by self culture along lines of mental growth and development. Think only pleasant thoughts. Think success, not failure. Think happiness, not sadness.”
The language may be vintage, but the wisdom is timeless: we become what we think about most. The call to “think success, not failure” mirrors what modern research tells us about neuroplasticity and how our thoughts literally shape our brains.
My own life has been one of continual renewal and re-writing my script. Every day is a choice — to stay stuck or to take what I’ve learned and shift direction, pushing forward with purpose. And as I type those words, I can almost hear David Gilmour’s voice: “A fatal attraction is holding me fast, how can I escape this irresistible grasp?” That lyric always hits home because it captures how easy it is to get trapped in comfort zones that quietly become cages. When we lose that inner spark — the one that pushes us to question, to change, to grow — we stop writing new chapters and start rereading old ones. Resilience, at its core, is the courage to keep editing your story, even when it would be easier to stay in the familiar.
My grandmother and great-grandmother didn’t need mindset workshops to understand this truth — they lived it. They didn’t dwell on what was out of their control — they adapted, learned, and kept moving forward. Their strength wasn’t loud or flashy; it was steady, deliberate, and built through small, intentional choices. This is the essence of resilience: the quiet, persistent courage to show up, pivot, and keep spinning forward on life’s merry-go-round.
Now, when I coach clients, I think of that onion-skin paper and the wisdom it carries. Think success, not failure. Think happiness, not sadness. Eight decades later, those words still hold true. The story we tell ourselves shapes how we navigate the world, and each thought is a line in that story — one we can rewrite at any time.
Operation Reframe™ Insight: Resilience begins with awareness. When life starts spinning, pause and ask: What am I focusing on right now — the things I can’t control, or the choices still in front of me?
The moment you shift your focus, you reclaim your power. That’s where the next chapter begins.
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